The transition from primary to secondary school is a difficult time. From fitting in and friendship, to even just making sure you have the right uniform.

For Conor Nolan, now 22, the concerns of most 11-year-olds at the time were overshadowed by a passion for fitness, which became obsessive.

This obsession led to him developing the eating disorder anorexia, which he now says took a ‘sinister toll’ on his life as he increasingly became over conscious of every bite he ate.

Conor kindly spoke to us about his experiences with anorexia and depression, and the impact it had on his childhood and early adulthood. He describes anorexia as:

‘…having this monkey in your head that’s controlling you, the thing about anorexia is you feel like you’re in control, but in reality, you’re being possessed by something’.

He recalls how hard it was, after losing weight rapidly, to admit that something was wrong. But after being referred by his doctor, he acknowledges how counselling, alongside support from his parents, helped him through this very difficult time.

A lightbulb moment for Conor was the thought of not being able to play football again – this goal helped him recover from anorexia and gave him the motivation to continue fighting.

 

Awareness and mental health stigma

At the ages of 18 to 19, Conor became aware of his depression. Initially feeling unable to seek professional help due to what he now attributes as his denial of it. He also struggled with the notion that it was a less tangible condition than his anorexia, and therefore not visible to his doctor.

In Ireland, where Conor lives, there was stigma surrounding mental health as he was growing up, and the pressure to abide by a ‘norm’ – he has learnt to push against this. An important turning point for Conor was when he opened up to his peers and started telling them about his experiences.

He says that talking to his friends was like a ‘domino effect’ where his friends also shared problems they faced. This highlights the importance of communication and not feeling afraid to speak up to those around you, who may well be going through similar difficulties.

 

Growth in adversity

Conor also talks about having no regrets about his experiences:

‘Everything happens for a reason. Our experiences shape us. What has happened has moulded how I think.’

Conor has a message to young people:

‘I have constantly witnessed the power of conversation. If you have an idea, or a problem, or both, never be afraid to talk about them. You never know who’s listening, and you never know how your life might change just from saying them out loud.’

Conor is now embarking on a new journey. Having just graduated with a first-class honours degree in Theoretical Physics, he will soon be starting a job as a financial data analyst.

 

To hear more about Conor’s journey and experiences, his book ‘Normal’ is out now.

Follow Conor on Instagram: @Conor_n7

Conor has a Podcast ‘Peace of Mind’ available here